I like overland travel. I’ve met a great many good people that way, and have had some of the most exciting moments of my life at border crossings. If you have read any of this site history, you probably know that. Leaving Tallinn, TJ and I caught a Bolt across town to the bus station. This ride was uneventful and we easily had our tickets in hand before time to leave. The bus billboard was asking a lot of me, but I’m not naturally suspicious so I went with it.
It was an easy ride into a Estonian beach town named Pärnu. This was about the halfway point to Riga, capital of Latvia, and I thought a quick dip in the Baltic Sea was a good idea. TJ opted for Public Access TV, and I can’t blame him.
The public-access-king-tut-viking-action shows are on point, but he did miss some fun sightseeing. In the spirit of the topless beaches, here’s a mildly topless photo of me.
Our flat had an ASS key that opened all doors, so we hauled ass and went out for some indescribably good Georgian food. We then hit local vintage shops in hopes that what we bought would survive the trip home. Spoiler: it would not.
One sleep later, a quick ride to the Riia Bussijaam had us at our Latvian goal; the capital city of Riga!
TD;DR: Tallinn is a delight. Please go see this town.
There were a great many things about the town that were a curiosity to me, and others that were a shock! Curious? Read on!
First off: food!
The grocery store is confusing, but it’s definitely the most affordable place to eat. Tallinn is not expensive compared to many European cities, but eating like a local will prolong your travel budget. In Tallinn, that means learning a whole new method of shopping. I’ll drop this link here so you can read it from someone smarter than myself: A Guide to Living in Estonia
If you are looking to go out and eat, there are loads of options, but I think my favorite was F-hoone. Any time of day, there is something to try there. Check out Hell Hunt if you are looking for a fun pub in the old town central plaza.
Next up: Adventure!
If you feel like taking your pants off in Tallinn, have I got good news for you! The Nudist winery is ready and waiting!
On the advice of AZTravelGuy, we went to the Depeche Mode bar. It was basically what one would expect, so don’t fight the crowds to get in here, but if you are a fan and have an hour to kill, go take a look around.
Interesting things we saw, Chains in the drain pipes from all the buildings. We couldn’t puzzle out what all the chains were for but later someone told us it was to break up ice that formed in the pipes when it was cold. We don’t run that risk in summer, but I can see it being of great value in winter. The once might Linnahall (once called the “V. I. Lenin Palace of Culture and Sport”) from the Moscow Olympics has fallen into disrepair, but it’s a short walk if you want to take a look around it. The KGB museum in Tallinn is interesting. I felt it was worth the price of admission, and helps to explain the local attitude towards foreign involvement. The KGB museum is near the Russian Embassy. Given the decorations outside the embassy, they don’t appear to have increased in popularity with the locals, recently. If you are curious about that particular aspect, Google or YouTube can probably show you what I mean. No Photo: My mate, Will Robinson, can tell you that we have a long tradition of “No Photo!” violations. Tallinn was no exception. #nophoto
Tauno Kangro
If you are given the choice, don’t drive anywhere. At the time we were there gasoline was over $8 USD per gallon. Nearly 3x the cost of gasoline in the USA at that time. That said, we’ve already extolled the virtues of Bolt as a car service in Tallinn. Bolt is like being an extra in a low budget Fast and Furious movie. One of our Bolt drivers was particularly wild in our transport. TJ and I were surprised that he didn’t crash, and not surprised when we saw him getting arrested a few minutes later when we walked back down that same street.
Speaking of walking, get a walking tour! They are plentiful and VERY well worth it. We learned loads about the old town and the history of Estonia. Like, why there are signs saying “Kik in de Kok” all over the place! It’s not what you think, so if that’s your thing you may have to look elsewhere. I’m very pro walking tour (especially with local guides) so you may want to start with a tour, then ask the guide all your other questions about exploring the city further. We didn’t see a lot of pay-to-pee public toilets, and while you should still carry a 50c coin just in case (Tallinn is expanding their public toilet presence), be sure to grab a drink from a local restaurant if you need to pee while you are out. They can give you advice and tips on things you might not know about.
Locals are always the way to go, and after years of traveling, I have run into a lot of folks who now live everywhere around the globe. Occasionally, I wind up in a town where someone, whom I have previously met, now lives and they can give me some tips. Tallinn is one such instance, happily. Viktor and I bumped into each other at a Couchsurfing event in Hungary some years ago, and now he’s back in Tallinn. He agreed to meet TJ and I and walk around the old town and grab a coffee.
Viktor told us about the local festivals and dances that had just finished, explained some of the regions history, and spoke of his new relationship. Viktor has been famously re-quoted many times by TJ and I as saying, “I’m 35, Dave. It’s time to settle down.” We saw a local coffee shop, and once Viktor found out I lived in Texas, he insisted we go to the “Texas” restaurant. While I am certain the menu is great for Eastern block Tex-Mex, I still prefer eating local fare when I am abroad.
Tay-Hass
Wrap up:
Go to the grocery store and not to the Texas restaurant.
Get the BOLT! app if it’s too far to walk. Big time and money saver!
Take the walking tour. I sound like a broken record, but do it.
Carry a 50c piece for the public toilets in an emergency.
The first time I ever heard of Estonia was in the 1992 seminal masterpiece “Encino Man” starring Brendan Fraser; later to star in “The Mummy”… a movie among whose other accolades is the fact that the combined cast of which caused an entire generation to become bisexual.
The second time I ever heard of Estonia was in Budapest, Hungary at a Couchsurfing (RIP) gathering. A Couchsurfer (CSer) told me that Estonian women were the most beautiful women in the world. He was from Estonia, so his opinion may be skewed. I do encourage healthy curiosity though, and if you wonder about this I think you should go see for yourself. Yes, you, dear reader. Go. Now.
Señor Tijuana and I ripped out of Helsinki as quickly as we could. I don’t think we gave Finland a fair shake, since we initially expected to be there for the MotoGP race and were a bit dejected over how that went down. The stupefying variance between the description and reality of our Airbnb didn’t help. The Estonian property looked regal and we were both holding out hope it was half as cool as the pictures.
Ryanair is always an experience. This trip was no exception. The whole plane smelled like farts and people who were farters. There is a city in Greece named Paleofartsalot, and I think the entire city was on this Ryanair flight. TJ and I were easily in our seats, both traveling light, and watching a man slam the lid of the luggage bin down on his protruding suitcase over and over and over, as we both waited for either the luggage bin or the man’s suitcase to break apart. The long-suffering Ryanair attendant walked up to the man and placed a hand on his arm to cease the ongoing criminal act. She, a full 12 inches shorten that the violator, looked him plainly in the eyes and with every ounce of Eastern European stoicism told him, ” It is not going to fit… as you see.” Rightfully shamed, he handed over the bag to the attendant and she disappeared with it; hopefully to throw it in a trash bin.
My first glimpses of Estonia were from far above. The land itself was a beautifully organized rural delicacy; the geometric puzzlement of property lines and crops that reveals itself in a fractured chessboard from overhead. I was nearly vibrating with anticipation when the captain’s voice came over the intercom in a language for which I had no auricular reference, running on in sentence after sentence describing, I am sure, the rolling country below us, their delicate foods and beautiful women, and the speed and velocity of both the plane and it’s crew. After a minute of this came the minuscule pause as this paragon of manhood switches mental gears to one of the hundred languages he commands, preparing to give us his rendition in beautifully accented English…
“We are land.”
The pressure and awkwardness of the Helsinki interlude shattered and I could hear TJ laughing aloud from further back in the cabin at the Captain’s brevity. Estonia was looking up!
We stopped to pose for a romantic selfie and then used an app called Bolt to call a car to get us downtown and it was an adventure. More on that later.
To say that our Airbnb in Estonia was the best I had ever stayed in may not be true, but it’s not far off. While hunting for places to stay in Estonia, I found more unique and highly tantalizing properties that I have ever seen concentrated in a single location within my price point. Hunting lodges, old monasteries, bits of castles… the list seemed to just keep going! We got to stay in an old hunting lodge that was built into the old wall of the city. The whole experience was a delight. Take a peek!
There were patios, sitting rooms, a bar, a kitchen, the sauna in the basement with secret exit, glorious giant bedrooms, extravagant bathrooms, a loft…. it was marvelous. Do yourself a favor and get on VRBO or some other site and cruise the startling options in Tallinn!
Wrap up:
Install the Bolt! app for ride share in Estonia; Uber and Lyft do not work here
Go look for cool short term rentals in Tallinn; don’t settle!
In 2019, it was announced that the Kymiring was to be added to the MotoGP calendar for the first time! I love the first time for just about any experience, and vowed to be there to see it. 2019 saw some unexpected delays in the readiness of the track, and it was postponed to the following year; 2020. You can imagine what came next.
Now in 2022, the race track is ready for visitors and again on the MotoGP calendar! And as Finland is a neighbor to conflict ongoing in Ukraine, those responsible for the Finland race have cancelled it once again this year from an abundance of caution. Plane tickets in hand, my friend Tijuana and I are not to be dissuaded so easily. We fly away this week for a vacation of new locales, food, friends and flings.
We land in Oslo this week, hoping to insert ourselves into a fjord or two. Let’s go berry picking!
