An Exit

Another grand adventure unfolds under my feet…

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Arriving at the airport today, I felt the hum of excitement building in me. The familiar return to a building that sees every permutation of human emotion every day. My experiences in airports have often been so emotionally charged that I can’t be near one without feeling that part of my guts that is tied to them twisting and dancing like a fish on a line. Today was no different.

The rampaging nerves peaked after I had my ticket in hand and hit the loo before I had to stand in the line for Security check. I was suddenly nervous almost to the point of panic. I had no idea what was waiting for me on the other end of this flight. I should run home and hide in the relative safety of my empty rented house and it’s lack of uncertainty.

I almost faltered; which was odd for me. This moment that was so foreign to this concept of who I am in my head, but is a real part of me and everyone and life! As much as I want to believe that I am dauntless, I have emotions and am far too often subject to the whims of adrenaline, hormones, and nerves. Recognizing the nerves as counter productive to what I had come to do, I strode into the security line and waited for them to pass. After some touch and grab with the TSA agents, I realized after I had passed through that the nerves were gone, replaced by calm confidence and anticipation for what lay ahead, rather than fear of it.

I think this happens to many of us, and it’s often hard to know what to do with it. I think without the guidance of some of my mentors and a very few close friends, I could have spent most of my life in that paralyzed state; running from uncertainty and never fully exploring myself or the world around me. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Maybe that’s why so many people seem to get addicted to change, to pushing the boundaries, to the adrenaline rush… to love? We keep looking for something to make us feel alive. Point Break being a prime example.

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I had never heard of Condor airlines before I saw the billboard over the freeway as summer warmth cracked over Austin making motorcycling enjoyable again. Nonstop to Frankfurt. Condor Airlines. They aren’t new, just new to me, and they have the most attractive ticket and gate agents in Austin International by a fair margin. They’re doing something right.

The plane is not new, showing signs of work, but it is clean in the way that German things are. I am not new.  My passport is not new. The plane is certainly the cleanest of we three.

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Awakening in a different country is still a somewhat surreal occurrence. It’s as if you aren’t fully awake enough to read or understand what words are being spoken to you… but permanently so. Something like a never-ending concussion. The German populace is gracious and liberal in their application of English, and I’m a bit surprised to see police with rifles just wandering the airport as if this were commonplace; almost as if this were Ben Gurion rather than the financial capital of one of the more affluent countries in Europe, if not the world.

We’re not in Kansas.

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More later. 🙂

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